Walk to Remember Pregnancy and Infant Loss

October 25, 2009
Walking the steps our child will never take

Walking the steps our child will never take 25/10/2009

Together, parents, children, grandparents, and friends released a red balloon for their angels. A gentle wind came past Albert Park Lake in Melbourne and lifted the balloons skyward and over Melbourne city.
A walk, with tears and laughter completely circled the Lake. As we started walking it as though heaven was acknowledging our sorrow in the form of tears of rain, the cold chill a reminder of the shock on finding no heart beat.   Later  a barbeque, drinks, hugs, and hello’s from the Sids and Kids staff.

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lost blog

October 23, 2009

Love this blogging but the tricks of the computer suddenly went flat with no warning in the middle of a post on writing a short dot point piece for parents with kinder to G 3 as a way of understanding their possible reactions to fire and solutions So I’ll have do the proper piece after a recovery break !!

Almost a year later, a long recovery break that’s for sure, I am writing an academic essay on the effects of grief and trauma on a young child  so have  found my way again


bushfire looting

October 19, 2009

It may be better called stealing, but looting has the sense of violation and despair associated with disaster.  The 7th of Febuary fires are said to be Australia’s worst peacetime disaster  when  173 people died. To put that in perspective that leaves more than 173,000 other family members  and friends grieving .  There are at least 78 communities burnt with 2,000 properties completely destroyed, 100’s of businesses gone with over 7,000 people displaced.   There were  fires, two weeks before the Black Saturday and over 66 fires that day,  and fires continuing for another 5 weeks.

In all of this this there has been a mamoth effort to get accomodation, supplies , infra-structure into place.  The three levels of government, charitable agencies, voluntary service agencies, neighbours, friends, anyone willing to put them selves out there assisted.

In this out pouring of support,donations,practical work, supplies, it is an abrupt jolt to be informed by phone last night that one of the caravans supplied for volunteers coming from various places around Australia and the city was stolen.   The other caravan was broken into, possibly to steal the crank bar , and the other  the window smashed. I’ve stayed in one of these vans, old , basic , not of great value in monetary terms but in terms of the community being able to offer free accommodation, valuable.    Before the caravans arrived, the burnt out locals put the fencing crews up for as long as a week.  Imagine the extra burden, supplying food, bedding , all done with the grace and goodwill of farming people.

Now all the vans are gone,  the fencing project will slow down if not stop .  One of the anologies used to give the magnitude of the losses is that, to replace the fencing, is the equivalent of building a fence from Sydney to Perth.   I would like to be generous, thinking of the thief as having a need but the truth is the van would have been given if there was a need.      It was difficult sleeping in the van, noisy, shook in the wind, next to a trucking route, a camping experience.  Nightmares, restlessness, hauntings, no sleep, till the van is rightfully returned to where it is truly needed.  Take notice looters.


Breathing

October 18, 2009

On listening to audio book ‘Breath’, I realised, while knowing nothing about big wild surfing, in fact wondering why I was listening,  a description of holding one’s breath going down, down, down, as deep as possible  so  far and for so long,it hurt the head, swam stars appeared, gasping for air,flaked out on surfacing , there was something familiar here.

 High altitude,  the cold so cold, the wind and snow so fierce that to get breathable air, I had to hold a cupped hand  over the mouth and nose,  the entire body bent low and crouched, leaning backwards into the wind for stability, not able to walk forwards, trying to hold the position.  Head spinning and aching,   warm in thermals, all the gear, but struggling to breath in the cold,  a blizzard of white out proportions.  The trek leader saying, ‘keep stamping your feet.’ Having to move on the spot as we could not move forward or back – no visibility at all.     Numb fear, I am in another realm just to survive. Each second of the utmost value but without the usual attached meanings.

This lead me to heat and the difficulty breathing when the air is so hot it is burning the hairs on your arm.  Again covering my face to try and get the air breathed out which is cooler than the air breathed in.  Twenty six years ago and more vividly ’97 .  This is actually too hard to write about now,as it is so close to Black Saturday,where there was no cooler air or smoke less zone for many.


my test post

October 5, 2009

hi this is my new beginning, different way for communication, share ideas and be connected so now to the first blog after a skill update and getting into the right site.  My particular interest at this time  is Fire and all it’s ramifications from the humble lighting of a candle to banish darkness to the overwhelming approaching darkness of a wildfire.