I’ve missed four weeks of posting. In that short space of time the working team of eight has dwindled to one.  The effects on me are multiple, bewilderment, disbelief, shock and then the side effects not sleeping, exhaustion, rumination,  questioning do I go or stay, not enough information to make an informed decision, how damaging is all this, why is there no backup, or controls in place.  Questions race through my mind, as I fear I am losing good friends and colleagues. I worry I will be seen as the enemy as I have not followed suit and resigned, or management will not support me as they suspect I might resign next.   As I prepare for another week, I changed my  blog header  to Wave Rock,  a  rock wave, high and arching, solid at a the point of breaking over the desert scrub.

It symbolically represents the state of my mind and my employment, just balancing in the upheaval, twisting and turning to keep upright.  I limit who I see, and talk to, and in the process have discovered the amazing therapy of ‘walking talking.’  The body releases tension, and the mind floats with the depth of the difficulties, and springs away in amazement at the surfboard paddlers on the cold gray river in their bright yellow safety vests.                                                                                                                                  I’ve included the full picture of the Wave rock surfer a year ago. This natural rock shape is 300 ks from Perth in Western Australia. Photos don’t do it justice as it exceeded my expectations in size, shape and colour.  Not only that the bus trip is exceedingly funny, the worlds largest dog cemetery, the smallest post office, the biggest afternoon tea, and emus and a kangaroo with a small joey bounding along side the bus at different points.

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4 Responses to

  1. Barbara says:

    Wow. I don’t know what is going on that all your colleagues have left. Would resigning be in alignment with taking good care of you? The wave reminds me of our alternatives when life threatens to swamp us: we can either allow ourselves to be tumbled by the water or we can become one with the wave and ride it out. The “walking talking” therapy sounds interesting. I will have to check it out.

    • redpresence says:

      I appreciate your comments tumbled or become one sums it up – thank you
      I’m surfing the wave riding it out Walking talking therapy is my brand of therapy in trauma often ending up in a nearby coffee shop. I am sure others do it It’s talking without the intensity of face to face and many ah moments arise.
      I was going to resign and then thought the issues are not mine, I’ve been caught by the activation of an old pattern. Neither staying or going looked good so I decided to stay on a day by day basis. That seems to be working as I am calmer, leave the office if it is too stressful, breath out and remind myself this is an exceptional position to find myself in.

      • Barbara says:

        great display of boundaries and presence 🙂

      • redpresence says:

        I have a belief if smaller conflicts can be handled with dignity and aplomb and time, then there is hope for the larger scale clashes. That belief is being tested. I am concentrating on being present to myself and my reactions. As you have written it is easy for fear to control our actions, rather than taking a moment to stop.

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