April 9, 2011
Last week I was describing riding a solid rock wave, surviving a job spill. Now I am in the waves at Cape Woolamai, cautiously in at my knees and still knocked over by a surprise surge of surf. There is something exhilarating about throwing ones self into calm water with a rising wave of water looming behind that thrusts one forward until sand is felt beneath the outstretched hands and foam bubbling up all around.
I laboured up sand hills from the beach, not knowing where I would end up. I decided to walk until I ceased ruminating on work, and that is how I ended up transitioning from a flat weedy beach to wild surf. I looked longingly at the board riders and decided to put “learn to surf on a board” on my things to achieve before I die. – Make that next autumn, when the water seems warmer and other tourists are gone.
That’s a positive thought, “surfing” taking me into the future, possibly the first one during the months of uncertainty around the work place. One that is fun, out in nature and a touch of the wild and dangerous to it (not my medium – water). So I have ridden the “wave” bobbing through the emotions of sadness, anger, despair, that came with the loss of my team mates, and a clarity on what I need to do and say to the management, the board to support the work and those using the service. I have been thinking of it as a marathon, the end not being a finishing line, or summit, rather a point of clarity, a place to take action, once again it reminds me of the “stay or go” bushfire shortcut. No shortcuts here, I am not rushed, pushed, or bullied, by anyone involved. I have decided to trust and believe no one as so many idiotic things have been said and done by all, including myself. So there is a chance for a new begining with new staff and an acknowledgement of my strength and understanding
April 3, 2011
I’ve missed four weeks of posting. In that short space of time the working team of eight has dwindled to one. The effects on me are multiple, bewilderment, disbelief, shock and then the side effects not sleeping, exhaustion, rumination, questioning do I go or stay, not enough information to make an informed decision, how damaging is all this, why is there no backup, or controls in place. Questions race through my mind, as I fear I am losing good friends and colleagues. I worry I will be seen as the enemy as I have not followed suit and resigned, or management will not support me as they suspect I might resign next. As I prepare for another week, I changed my blog header to Wave Rock, a rock wave, high and arching, solid at a the point of breaking over the desert scrub.
It symbolically represents the state of my mind and my employment, just balancing in the upheaval, twisting and turning to keep upright. I limit who I see, and talk to, and in the process have discovered the amazing therapy of ‘walking talking.’ The body releases tension, and the mind floats with the depth of the difficulties, and springs away in amazement at the surfboard paddlers on the cold gray river in their bright yellow safety vests. I’ve included the full picture of the Wave rock surfer a year ago. This natural rock shape is 300 ks from Perth in Western Australia. Photos don’t do it justice as it exceeded my expectations in size, shape and colour. Not only that the bus trip is exceedingly funny, the worlds largest dog cemetery, the smallest post office, the biggest afternoon tea, and emus and a kangaroo with a small joey bounding along side the bus at different points.
February 18, 2011
A wall of mirror, in two sections, ceiling to floor and wall to wall, is showing dark spots something is not right. It is is a lounge not a bathroom where water could get in. My daughter decided it had to go and together we pulled off the thick solid wood frame on one side the other side and top and bottom would not budge. It is screwed into chipboard. Damp chip board, covering a leak , or part of the flood. The project has stopped here as we collect ideas on mirror mirror off the wall. They are becoming more refined. Rather than just hit it with a hammer , now it will be covered first with a sheet a thick bedspread on the floor and then lots of newspaper. Then tape it in sections so the glass can fall in sections. Possibly score it with a glass cutter. The flash of an idea to ring a glazier for the low down on huge removal of glass panels is winning. All this to see the state of the wall behind and the effect of the Melbourne deluge.
January 9, 2011
I’m taking up the challenge, a blog a week. I thought it would be easier than it was to blog every week, although why I chose a Friday night as the writing time, now seem optomistic when blob out is more likely than a new blog. Once the excitement and initial enthusiasm wore off and my blog mentor became employed, I missed a few weeks then a month and then…that seemed to be the end of the blogging career.Starting up again in the Second Week of the New Year, I do wonder how many bloggers will manage to make it to the 1st of January 2012 having kept their word, amidst life, the journey that happens while you are planning something else, something like what John Lennon said. I’ll check in and see if I make it.