more waves

April 9, 2011

Last week I was describing riding a solid rock wave, surviving a job spill. Now I am in the waves at Cape Woolamai, cautiously in at my knees and still knocked over by a surprise surge of surf.  There is something exhilarating about throwing ones self into calm water with a rising wave of water looming behind that thrusts one forward until sand is felt beneath the outstretched hands and foam bubbling up all around.

I laboured up sand hills from the beach, not knowing where I would end up. I decided to walk until I ceased ruminating on work, and that is how I ended up transitioning from a flat weedy beach to wild surf.  I looked longingly at the board riders and decided to put “learn to surf on a board” on my things to achieve before I die. – Make that next autumn, when the water seems warmer and other tourists are gone.

That’s a positive thought, “surfing” taking me into the future, possibly the first one during the months of uncertainty around the work place. One that is fun, out in nature and a touch of the wild and dangerous to it (not my medium – water).  So I have ridden the “wave” bobbing through the emotions of sadness, anger, despair, that came with the loss of my team mates, and a clarity on what I need to do and say  to the management, the board to support the work and those using the service.  I have been thinking of it as a marathon, the end not being a finishing line, or summit, rather a point of clarity, a place to take action, once again it reminds me of the “stay or go” bushfire shortcut.  No shortcuts here, I am not rushed, pushed, or bullied, by anyone involved. I have decided to trust and believe no one as so many idiotic things have been said and done by all, including myself.  So there is a chance for a new begining with new staff and an acknowledgement of my strength and understanding